And We Would Be *Where* Now?
by The Great Invader ZIM
Summary: The first chapter of a between-fics-that-matter fluff. When Gaz's video game malfuctions where are ZIM and Dib sent? Yyyum..pointlessness!!


Disclaimer: Let's seee…

Disclaimer: Let's seee….I don't won ZIMMY, Dibby, any other IZ characters, IZ itself, Banjo, Kazooie, Banjo-Kazooie, Banjo-Tooie, etc., just the story line is miine… He-hee, I've been playing too much BT… I added an N64 to the IZ world-place…the Game Slave monopoly is crrrrussssssshed! Mwa hahahahahaha!! Eeh, sorry if someone else used a wormhole in their fics for a similar purpose, I just wanted to get to the point, plus '_multi-dimensional tear in time/space_' is just too long to type over and over and over… _Tacos_…

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Dib moved from the kitchen to the TV room with his dinner, which consisted of a bowl of Cocoa Splodees. Gaz had ordered pizza, but her wasn't in the mood for pepperoni tonight. So he sat on the couch eating the cereal, watching Gaz play a new game on her new Nintendo 64 machine. It was kinda a waste of money, considering there were better systems out there, but she had insisted on having something to occupy the space between nowand the Game Slave 2's release. The game was Banjo-Tooie, the sequel to some game with a gazelle or some other bird and what appeared to be a grizzly bear.

"So…what's going on now?" Dib asked out of boredom.

Gaz didn't turn her head away from the TV, but spoke all the same. "Don't you something else to do tonight? No _aliens_?" As she said this, her thumbs moved fluidly on the odd N64-controller. "..But if you must know, I'm in Hailfire Peaks."

The boy set the empty bowl on the coffee table next to the N64. Dib got up and walked into the kitchen to get a soda, but failed to notice the person directly above his head clinging to the ceiling on spider-like metal appendages. Just as Dib got back in the room with his drink, the second dragon of Hailfire Peaks fell to Banjo and Kazooie, and now all that worthless 'jiggy'-stuff was collected in under ten minutes. (Don't ask me how..)

"Gaz, isn't it a kind of waste to buy all these games when you beat them so fast?" Dib commented. He wasn't out spying on ZIM tonight, because he had already been there and found the house completed deserted and locked. After trying every possible way in, he had finally given up because the gnomes had turned on.

His sister regarded him as if he were three-quarters stupid. "..Shut up, Dib, you're slowing me down." For a few minutes, there was no sound in the house except for the grunts of Banjo, the cries of Kazooie, and the noises that came from Professor Membrane's lab.

There was skittering click-clack sound coming from the ceiling. Dib looked up and saw ZIM hanging from his spider legs and grinning smugly.

"ZIM!! Gaz, it's _ZIM_!!" Dib cried, pointing up at the ceiling. ZIM moved from the ceiling to the wall and a small magenta ray gun popped out from his backpack. The alien took aim.

"GAZ!!" Dib cried, looking around wildly from some weapon. He fell onto the coffee table and it rocked violently. His soda can went flying and hit the N64. Sparks began to fly and the machine began to move around like it was alive.

Dib's sister dropped the control and glared at Dib, ignoring the alien on the wall aiming a death-ray at her brother. "Dib, _what _did you _do_?!" she growled, her eyes open and twitching.

"I..I..I.. Gaz! Look! Look, it's ZIM!!" Dib pointed wildly at the alien, but just then the N64 leaped off the coffee table and lunged at Dib. Gaz was still glaring at him, and ZIM was confused.

"Arrgh! Halt, death-machine! I am ZIM, Irken Invader Elite! _I _shall destroy Dib, not _youuuuu_!!!" ZIM yelled, shooting the N64. The blast hit the machine right on the Banjo-Tooie gamepak, and a wormhole opened up.

As the wormhole sucked both ZIM and Dib into its fluctuating blue-energy mass, Gaz shouted after them, "You're buying me a new N64, Dib!!!" 

The two rivals sped through the blue and purple energy tunnel. "This was your plan, ZIM? You've already tried this!!" Dib exclaimed.

ZIM wore a look of digust. "Why would I try the same thing twice, sludgy Earthanoid? _I_ was just going to destroy you!" he answered, waving his fist at the human.

A hole in the…wormhole opened up to reveal a blue sky and an Indian-like teepee. It spat ZIM and Dib out into the grass, and almost instantly freakish Shunk Wugga-type things were upon them. ZIM rolled over onto his stomach and the spider legs appeared again. He shot the monsters with the ray gun still in his hand, and then fell over and faded away. When none remained, ZIM looked at the gun.

"That was a rather unexpected effect," he muttered, putting the gun back in his backpack along with the spider legs. Dib was walking around with an open mouth, while ZIM walked over to the nearby teepee-wigwam thing and looked inside.

"Who enters Humba Wumba's wigwam? Bird return to change back?" a woman's voice inquired. ZIM walked in, careful not to walk too far ahead, for there was a pond of pink ooze in the middle of the floor.

"I am not a filthy Earth animal! Tell me, insipid thing-creature!" ZIM commanded as Dib entered the wigwam behind him. Dib saw the pink liquid and walked in front of the alien.

Dib gave a little wave to the woman. "Uhm…hi. I'm Dib, who are you..and where am I?" he asked.

"You on Isle O' Hags." The woman stroked her long black hair as she said this. "And little green one be…?"

The boy put his head in his hands. "Aack, I thought this place looked familiar." ZIM pushed him aside.

"I am ZIM, sent by the Almighty Tallest to conquer Earth and—aaahh!" He screamed as Dib pushed him into the liquid, and the displacement tossed pink ooze everywhere, where it started shimmering. ZIM's gurgled screams could be heard from under the surface as well.

"I don't have time for that alien stuff, ZIM. We're…I…am stuck in Banjo-Tooie! Your stupid blaster did this!!" Dib walked around the pool and looked up at Humba Wumba. "Can you help us? Please?"

She pointed at the pool where ZIM was floating on the surface, eyes closed and mouth open with a thin serpent tongue hanging out. He appeared to have different clothes on. "Humba think you'd want help green friend instead," she said.

"Aaagh…" ZIM murmured. He stood up and, despite painfully smoking skin, he made his way slowly out of the pool and onto the floor of the wigwam. He stared down at the new clothes he had on, and then puzzled at the thin, sharp tongue that flicked out his mouth every few moments or so, just like a snake's. The clothes ZIM now wore were similar to the ones that the Tallests had worn at the Great Assigning, but he still had his backpack. The Invader was also surprised to note that he now floated _above_ the floor, for the robes he wore were fitted with a levitation belt, just like the Tallests had. He also had that cool arm-thing, but instead of only _two_ fingers, he still had he his normal count, and having a thumb would help.

ZIM stared down at his new clothes some more, tongue flicking out, and Dib did so as well. "This magic pool reflect personality. Change bird into dragon. Change _you_ into snake-thing," Humba offered as an explanation.

"Snake tongue, ZIM. Snakes…are sneaky, lying, cheating, alien invaders that--" Dib didn't finish, as ZIM had just whapped Dib with the back of his fancy-armband thing.

"Heh, you forget the other part, foolish worm monkey! I wear the robes of a Tallest! I am destined to be your lord and master!! I shall destroy you, then I will continue my mission of doom!!!" ZIM raved, making various hand gestures as Dib watched from the floor, looking both bored and annoyed.

When ZIM seemed to have run out of air, Dib smiled with mock-sweetness. "But ZIM, how are you going to back to your 'mission of doom?'" he asked.

The alien's eyes widened. He glided over to Dib. "What do you mean, inferior human? Are you suggesting that I can't find my way out of this stink place? HA! Watch me _amaze_ you….!" ZIM left the wigwam and went off down the digger tunnel.

Dib got up and turned to Humba Wumba. "Y-you wouldn't happen to know how to get out of here, would you?" he questioned hopefully. The shaman shook her head. 

"You maybe need second-rate spell for that, but me not know what you mean by 'get out of here.' Door over there." Humba Wumba pointed again, this time over toward the open part of the wigwam. 

The boy thought for a moment. "Well…where can I find some one who can cast a second-rate spell?" Dib turned before he even heard the answer. He had been watching Gaz play this game for awhile, after all. He had to find that guy with the skull for a head…and he had a vague recolection of where that other shaman was. Thanking Humba Wumba, Dib left, not giving ZIM's whereabouts much thought.

"Without all his alien technology, he wouldn't be able to do any damage at all! And once I find out how to get out of here, I'll just leave ZIM behind and the Earth will be safe!!" Dib laughed at his own ingenuity as he trod down the digger tunnel, unknowingly going in the same direction ZIM had.

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O.o Okay, let me say that this went horribly, horribly wrong, but in a good way. I was going to have something completely different happen, but I like where this is going. I know I should be working on something else, but this is a fun, worthless fic…c'mon, enjoyyyy. The Tallest-dressed ZIM was _not_ planned, but now I drew some pretty pictures of it, and I like how that happened too… Chapter two comes later…


End file.
